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Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
The Dance
Teddy Bear breakdown
3- Act structure
ACT I - Set up
Connor is introduced as a shy kid sitting on a swing alone as the other kids play. He is staring at a young girl and trying to build the courage to go talk to her but can't. He notices the girl is playing with a worn, handmade teddy bear and she leaves it to go play with other.
Inciting Incident
As the girl gets ready to leave, she goes back to where she left her teddy bear only to find it missing.
Plot point #1
As she leaves in tears, she accidentally drops a picture of her and her teddy bear. Connor picks it up and decides to look for the bear himself.
ACT II - Confrontation
Connor searches the neighborhood trying to find the young girls bear.
Obstacles
Of course the obstacles are that he cannot find the bear. No one knows where it is. Toy stores and other shops don't have anything like it because it has handmade. He can't find it anywhere in the park. He needs to find it before the sun goes down.
1st Culmination
A few people point him into directions of shops where they think they've seen the bear. However, no shop have it because it's hand-made.
Midpoint
Connor searches furiously for the bear but to no avail. He can't find it or anything like it anywhere. The young girl is shown sad in her bedroom and it reveals that the bear was special because her grandmother was the one who made it for her.
ACT III - Resolution
Just as Connor is about to give up, he sees a bear the kind of resembles the young girls bear. It's ten times the size and brand new but he buys it anyway. finally finds the bear and returns to the young girl who in thanks, gives him a little kiss.
Climax
While leaving the teddy bear store, Connor follows a dog into an alleyway and sees the teddy bear. He takes it to the young girl in the park and finally was the courage to approach her.
Denouement
The girl leans in to give him a kiss but instead of her lips, Connor kisses the lips of the teddy bear.
ACT I - Set up
Connor is introduced as a shy kid sitting on a swing alone as the other kids play. He is staring at a young girl and trying to build the courage to go talk to her but can't. He notices the girl is playing with a worn, handmade teddy bear and she leaves it to go play with other.
Inciting Incident
As the girl gets ready to leave, she goes back to where she left her teddy bear only to find it missing.
Plot point #1
As she leaves in tears, she accidentally drops a picture of her and her teddy bear. Connor picks it up and decides to look for the bear himself.
ACT II - Confrontation
Connor searches the neighborhood trying to find the young girls bear.
Obstacles
Of course the obstacles are that he cannot find the bear. No one knows where it is. Toy stores and other shops don't have anything like it because it has handmade. He can't find it anywhere in the park. He needs to find it before the sun goes down.
1st Culmination
A few people point him into directions of shops where they think they've seen the bear. However, no shop have it because it's hand-made.
Midpoint
Connor searches furiously for the bear but to no avail. He can't find it or anything like it anywhere. The young girl is shown sad in her bedroom and it reveals that the bear was special because her grandmother was the one who made it for her.
ACT III - Resolution
Just as Connor is about to give up, he sees a bear the kind of resembles the young girls bear. It's ten times the size and brand new but he buys it anyway. finally finds the bear and returns to the young girl who in thanks, gives him a little kiss.
Climax
While leaving the teddy bear store, Connor follows a dog into an alleyway and sees the teddy bear. He takes it to the young girl in the park and finally was the courage to approach her.
Denouement
The girl leans in to give him a kiss but instead of her lips, Connor kisses the lips of the teddy bear.
A New Life, A Different Life breakdown
3- Act structure
ACT I - Set up
Mallory is introduced as a regular average joe who goes about her daily life as a regular average joe would. We see her going through her daily schedule with a bored tired look on her face.
Inciting Incident
She suddenly get the urge to super clean her home.
Plot point #1
While dusting her bookshelf she finds a journal she wrote in a long time ago.
ACT II - Confrontation
Mallory reads through the journal and realizes her life is so boring and monotonous. She decides to change that.
Obstacles
There aren't many physical obstacles in her way. Other than the angry girlfriend of the co-worker she kisses. I suppose her overcoming her obstacles is just finally doing what she WANTS to do, or finally having the drive to do it.
1st Culmination
Other than the boyfriend scene I can't think of one.
Midpoint
None
Well she kind of gets punched in the face. I don't know if that counts.
ACT III - Resolution
Mallory writes her day in her journal and decides that day, will be HER just another day.
Climax
The act of Mallory writing in the journal.
Denouement
Mallory settling into bed and making her decision.
Concept Revision #2 - A New Life, A Different Life
This is the actual revision of my original idea. It was inspired and developed from this piece called Maybe One Day.
Premise
Mallory Childs finds a journal that has her simple, monotonous life recorded day after day and upon reading it, Mallory decides it's time for a change.
Screenplay
Music
I haven't found any music for this piece yet but since the only dialogue is a voice over I do plan on using some.
Premise
Mallory Childs finds a journal that has her simple, monotonous life recorded day after day and upon reading it, Mallory decides it's time for a change.
Screenplay
INT. MALLORY'S HOUSE - BEDROOM - MORNING
Mallory Childs, 24, rises from her bed tiredly, her hair resembling a birds nest and her pajamas twisting haphazardly around her body. She is an average woman with no real goal and no real drive to make one.
SERIES OF SHOTS
MALLORY (V.O)
It was just another day
Mallory rubs her cheeks as she struggles out of bed.
MALLORY (V.O)
I woke up, brushed my teeth and other things
Shots of Mallory brushing her teeth, brushing her hair, and washing her face
MALLORY (V.O)
Got my vanilla bean frappuccino and reviewed my notes over breakfast
Shot of Mallory reading papers as she nibbles on a blueberry muffin
MALLORY (V.O)
Went to work
Shot of Mallory passing out coffee during presentation and answering phone calls in her cubicle.
MALLORY (V.O)
Came home
Shot of Mallory throwing down her work load and collapsing onto her couch.
END SERIES OF SHOTS
MALLORY (V.O)
Ate a T.V dinner at the breakfast table as I sorted through my notes for the next day
Shot of Mallory eating a disgusting looking spaghetti and meatballs T.V dinner while reading over papers once again. Once she finishes she throws the trash into the bin and walks to her bedroom.
CUT TO:
Mallory laying down in bed on her back and facing the ceiling. She gets settled and closes her eyes, releasing a long sigh.
MALLORY (V.O)
Then went to sleep. Just another day.
(Mallory's eyes shoot open)
Except...it wasn't.
INT. MALLORY'S HOUSE - DEN - EARLY MORNING
Mallory is frantically cleaning her house, vacuuming the floor, wiping off tables, reorganizing shelves. She climbs a ladder and begins to dust her bookshelf.
MALLORY (V.O)
I don't know what possessed me to suddenly want to clean my house at 6 in the morning but I did.
she suddenly stops. In surprise, Mallory pulls out a old, weathered leather-bound journal and smiles.
MALLORY (V.O)
And that's when I found it.
INT. MALLORY'S HOUSE - BEDROOM - MORNING
Mallory is sitting on the bed and slowly turning the book around in her hands.
MALLORY (V.O)
The house was old, but the journal was even older. A leather bound journal passed down generation through generation.
She settles back to get comfortable. She opens the journal and quickly leafs through the pages.
MALLORY (V.O)
As I sat down to flip through it a sense of nostalgia hit me.
Mallory looks up as she flashes back to the day she received the journal. She is 20 years old and bouncing excitedly as her mother hands her the journal with great care.
CUT TO:
A series of shots of Mallory writing in the journal every day. Sometimes she sits and ponders. Some times she is frantically writing as if her life depends on it.
MALLORY (V.O)
I remember the first time it was in my hands. I was so proud to finally be part of the tradition I used to write in it everyday. Well at least until my work became to much and it got put away only to collect dust.
Young Mallory falls onto her bed, the journal gripped tightly to her chest as if it the most important thing in the world. A euphoric smile is on her face.
MALLORY (V.O)
I remembered how excited I was and how exciting my life was going to be.
Mallory's smile begins to fade the more she goes through the journal.
MALLORY (V.O)
But as I combed through page after page, I realized
MALLORY (V.O)
(Sharply looking up, eyes wide and with a distressed face)
My life was so...BORING!
MALLORY (V.O)
I didn't do anything! Albeit I never really wanted to. But I ate, slept, and breathed work. I didn't go anywhere. I didn't hang out with friends. I just worked. Work, work, worked!
MALLORY (V.O)
Is this really how I'm going to live the rest of my life? Is this how I'm going to die? A poor, boring girl dead in her cubicle with her phone glued to her ear and her last dying words being "Thank you and have a nice day?"
Mallory snaps the journal shut.
MALLORY (V.O)
I decided right then and there I was changing my life into a new life. A different life.
MALLORY (V.O)
A better life.
MALLORY (V.O)
I was saying goodbye to my mundane, monotonous, and just plain boring routine. And hello to new me!
Mallory sits in front of her computer typing furiously with books scattered all around her. She leans back into her chair as she finishes, her arms crossed behind her head and a satisfied look on her face.
MALLORY (V.O)
Maybe I would write that novel I had always been wanting to write.
SERIES OF SHOTS
Mallory places her now printed novel into an envelope, seals it, and places it into the mailbox.
MALLORY (V.O)
And just because I could...I'd mail it off.
Shot of Mallory ordering a pumpkin spice frappuccino and looking out the cafe window as she enjoys it.
MALLORY (V.O)
Get that coffee I had been meaning to try
Shots of Mallory laughing in the movie theater and jumping in fright, her popcorn flying everywhere.
MALLORY (V.O)
Or see that movie I always wanted to see
Shot of Mallory going into her work and suddenly kissing an attractive guy.
MALLORY (V.O)
Maybe make a new friend
Shot of the attractive guy's girlfriend screaming angrily and making threatening hand gestures.
MALLORY (V.O)
And a new enemy
Shot of Mallory walking around the park, petting dogs and eating ice cream.
MALLORY (V.O)
Take a walk in the park
Shot of Mallory dipping her feet into a pond and laughing at the moss that gathers on her toes.
MALLORY (V.O)
Or a dip in the pool
Shot of Mallory reading a book intensely
MALLORY (V.O)
Travel to a new world
Shot of Mallory eating a home cooked meal in front on her T.V. She is crying and laughing at an episode of Doctor Who.
MALLORY (V.O)
Or become part of a family
END SERIES OF SHOTS
INT. MALLORY'S HOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT
Mallory is sitting in her bed. She is buttoning the last button of her pajama shirt. She turns on her bedside lamp and grabs the journal and a pen.
MALLORY (V.O)
And once everything was said and done and I felt completely satisfied
MALLORY (V.O)
I would write my day in the journal
MALLORY (V.O)
Because it WAS my day
MALLORY (V.O)
A new day
MALLORY (V.O)
A different day
MALLORY (V.O)
(Shot of the actual words being written in the journal)
A better day
Mallory closes the journal, cuts off the lamp, and snuggles into bed. She is facing the ceiling and closes her eyes. But a smile is on her face.
MALLORY (V.O)
And for once in my life, I can't wait for just another day.
Critique
PLOT
- Is the plot engaging and satisfying? If not, why?
- Are there slow, confusing or dull spots? How would you fix these?
- Is the plot surprising or predictable? How so?
- Are the subplots engaging and satisfying? Do they add to the main plot?
- Does the plot fulfill the promise of the idea or does it feel incomplete or not fully realized?
- Are there any plot holes that need to be fixed?
- Does the plot stem from and work with the characters and theme or does it feel forced upon them?
- Are each of the acts complete and balanced?
- Is one part of the plot notably better or worse than the rest?
- How much tension is there in the plot? In each act? In each scene?
CHARACTER
- Do the characters feel genuine to the story?
- Is the protagonist likeable? Why or why not? What does this add to the story?
- Is the antagonist appealing? Why or why not? What does this add to the story?
- Does the size of the cast fit the size of the story?
- How long is the protagonist’s arc? How would lengthening, shortening or eliminating that arc change the story?
- Do other characters have arcs? What do those arcs add?
- How much backstory do we get about the characters?
- Do each of the characters have unique personalities and dialogue?
- Is the story character-driven or plot-driven? What if you switched it?
- What are the characters’ strengths and weaknesses?
THEME
- What are the script’s primary theme?
- How well is the theme expressed through plot?
- How well is the theme expressed through character and dialogue?
- How strong or weak is the theme? What if it was emphasized or deemphasized?
Music
I haven't found any music for this piece yet but since the only dialogue is a voice over I do plan on using some.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Concept Revision #1 - Teddy Bear
So I did more research on short films 5 minutes and under and I came up with a slew of ideas but only two were actually worth developing.
Premise
Connor is a shy boy who aims to win the heart of a young girl by searching for her lost teddy bear.
I was inspired by this short called My Favorite Things. Of course I had to frame it differently so that there were obstacles he had to overcome in a way.
Screenplay
EXT. PLAYGROUND - DAY
CONNOR LOVELL sits on the swing alone. He is an 9 year old boy dressed in a large hoodie and jeans. His thick-rimmed glasses slide down his face and he quickly pushes them up.
He is staring at a YOUNG GIRL. She is around 10/11 and is sitting beneath a tree playing with a beaten up teddy bear. Her hair is pulled back by a bright yellow headband that matches her sundress.
The young girl turns around and smiles. Connor quickly looks away. He begins to swing. From the the corner of his eye he sees her stand and begins toward him. He stops swinging and starts to move.
The young girl suddenly turns as she hears her name being called and races away. Connor sighs in relief and sits back down. He draws in the dirt with a stick and watches the young girl as she plays with friends.
EXT. PLAYGROUND - LATER
Connor sits on the ground playing with an anthill. He hears something and turns to his left to see the young girl circling around the tree she was near earlier. She looks distraught and tears and running down her face. Her mother picks her up to comfort her and the young girl cries as they walk to their car.
A piece of paper falls to the ground as the car drives away. Connor picks it up and sees a picture of the girl smiling and hugging her worn bear. He looks up determined.
EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY
Connor looks all around the park for the bear. He shows the picture to parents who shake their heads. He searches through tunnels and under slides. Defeated, he turns away to the streets.
Connor races down the streets. He stops to show the picture to the people he passes, asking if they have seen the bear. Many people shake their heads no. Some point him to the direction of stores.
Shopkeepers and clerks shake their heads at the picture. Connor searches fruitlessly through the stores to find a new teddy bear. He looks through windows and display cases. He goes through boxes of bears. He searches through an entire teddy bear store. But to no avail.
INT. GIRL'S BEDROOM - DAY
The young girl looks sadly out the window of her bedroom. Pictures of her with her teddy bear rest on her bedside table and dresser. One in particular is a picture of her receiving the bear from her grandmother.
EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY
Connor is bent over and panting. The picture is gripped tightly in his fist. Sweat is dripping all over his face and his glasses constantly drips down his face.
He stands tall and looks at the store behind him. In the display case is a teddy bear 10 times the size of a regular one. He looks at the picture and notices the similarities before walking into the store.
CUT TO:
Connor walks down the street with the giant bear in his arms. He stops as a dog passes him and walks into an alleyway. Connor, curious, peers into the alleyway and a large smile forms on his face.
EXT. PLAYGROUND - THE NEXT DAY
The young girl sits under the tree forlorn. Her cheek is resting on her hand and she is drawing stick figures in the dirt. A shadow passes over her and she looks up quickly.
Connor smiles down at the girl over the head of the giant teddy bear. The young girl cocks her head to the side curiously at the bear. From behind his back Connor pulls out her worn teddy bear which is more torn than before and covered in dirt.
The young girl smiles brightly. She grabs her teddy bear and jumps around happily. Suddenly she turns to Connor and hugs him. As he pulls away from the hug, the young girl begins to lean forward as if to kiss him. Connor quickly closes his eyes and puckers his lips which are instantly met with the mouth of the teddy bear.
END
Critique
Since this is a silent film, I have found copyright free music to use. I don't really know who composed or preformed it but I do know it is called A Little Chronology. I'll look further into it.
Premise
Connor is a shy boy who aims to win the heart of a young girl by searching for her lost teddy bear.
I was inspired by this short called My Favorite Things. Of course I had to frame it differently so that there were obstacles he had to overcome in a way.
Screenplay
EXT. PLAYGROUND - DAY
CONNOR LOVELL sits on the swing alone. He is an 9 year old boy dressed in a large hoodie and jeans. His thick-rimmed glasses slide down his face and he quickly pushes them up.
He is staring at a YOUNG GIRL. She is around 10/11 and is sitting beneath a tree playing with a beaten up teddy bear. Her hair is pulled back by a bright yellow headband that matches her sundress.
The young girl turns around and smiles. Connor quickly looks away. He begins to swing. From the the corner of his eye he sees her stand and begins toward him. He stops swinging and starts to move.
The young girl suddenly turns as she hears her name being called and races away. Connor sighs in relief and sits back down. He draws in the dirt with a stick and watches the young girl as she plays with friends.
EXT. PLAYGROUND - LATER
Connor sits on the ground playing with an anthill. He hears something and turns to his left to see the young girl circling around the tree she was near earlier. She looks distraught and tears and running down her face. Her mother picks her up to comfort her and the young girl cries as they walk to their car.
A piece of paper falls to the ground as the car drives away. Connor picks it up and sees a picture of the girl smiling and hugging her worn bear. He looks up determined.
EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY
Connor looks all around the park for the bear. He shows the picture to parents who shake their heads. He searches through tunnels and under slides. Defeated, he turns away to the streets.
Connor races down the streets. He stops to show the picture to the people he passes, asking if they have seen the bear. Many people shake their heads no. Some point him to the direction of stores.
Shopkeepers and clerks shake their heads at the picture. Connor searches fruitlessly through the stores to find a new teddy bear. He looks through windows and display cases. He goes through boxes of bears. He searches through an entire teddy bear store. But to no avail.
INT. GIRL'S BEDROOM - DAY
The young girl looks sadly out the window of her bedroom. Pictures of her with her teddy bear rest on her bedside table and dresser. One in particular is a picture of her receiving the bear from her grandmother.
EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY
Connor is bent over and panting. The picture is gripped tightly in his fist. Sweat is dripping all over his face and his glasses constantly drips down his face.
He stands tall and looks at the store behind him. In the display case is a teddy bear 10 times the size of a regular one. He looks at the picture and notices the similarities before walking into the store.
CUT TO:
Connor walks down the street with the giant bear in his arms. He stops as a dog passes him and walks into an alleyway. Connor, curious, peers into the alleyway and a large smile forms on his face.
EXT. PLAYGROUND - THE NEXT DAY
The young girl sits under the tree forlorn. Her cheek is resting on her hand and she is drawing stick figures in the dirt. A shadow passes over her and she looks up quickly.
Connor smiles down at the girl over the head of the giant teddy bear. The young girl cocks her head to the side curiously at the bear. From behind his back Connor pulls out her worn teddy bear which is more torn than before and covered in dirt.
The young girl smiles brightly. She grabs her teddy bear and jumps around happily. Suddenly she turns to Connor and hugs him. As he pulls away from the hug, the young girl begins to lean forward as if to kiss him. Connor quickly closes his eyes and puckers his lips which are instantly met with the mouth of the teddy bear.
END
Critique
PLOT
- Is the plot engaging and satisfying? If not, why?
- Are there slow, confusing or dull spots? How would you fix these?
- Is the plot surprising or predictable? How so?
- Are the subplots engaging and satisfying? Do they add to the main plot?
- Does the plot fulfill the promise of the idea or does it feel incomplete or not fully realized?
- Are there any plot holes that need to be fixed?
- Does the plot stem from and work with the characters and theme or does it feel forced upon them?
- Are each of the acts complete and balanced?
- Is one part of the plot notably better or worse than the rest?
- How much tension is there in the plot? In each act? In each scene?
CHARACTER
- Do the characters feel genuine to the story?
- Is the protagonist likeable? Why or why not? What does this add to the story?
- Is the antagonist appealing? Why or why not? What does this add to the story?
- Does the size of the cast fit the size of the story?
- How long is the protagonist’s arc? How would lengthening, shortening or eliminating that arc change the story?
- Do other characters have arcs? What do those arcs add?
- How much backstory do we get about the characters?
- Do each of the characters have unique personalities and dialogue?
- Is the story character-driven or plot-driven? What if you switched it?
- What are the characters’ strengths and weaknesses?
THEME
- What are the script’s primary theme?
- How well is the theme expressed through plot?
- How well is the theme expressed through character and dialogue?
- How strong or weak is the theme? What if it was emphasized or deemphasized?
Since this is a silent film, I have found copyright free music to use. I don't really know who composed or preformed it but I do know it is called A Little Chronology. I'll look further into it.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Pitch
What if you found something that predicted your entire life and it revealed to you that you are not who you thought you were, but a simple copy in a never ending line of lies?
Mallory Childs discovers a journal that contains nothing but her life: past, present and future. In an attempt to uncover the truth, she uncovers a secret that not only forces her to question everything she has ever known, but also to battle with the idea of her very own existence. She is nothing but a reincarnation, a carbon copy of a woman who was cursed to live forever thousands of years ago. Once the woman dies, she is born again in another generation and is forced to live her life in the same way, with the same events happening over and over again. Though, each generation is allowed one change to their story and records their tale into the journal for the next reincarnation to find. Mallory tries to free herself from her curse but becomes engulfed in her inner struggle of her life being nothing more than just a repeat of events.
I've always enjoyed films that deal with Man vs. Himself more than Man vs. Man or Man vs. Nature. Though there are elements of Man vs. Society or Man vs. Man in these films, the main focus is the obstacle being him/herself. The mood I'm going for is not really dreary but light, happy, then intense and suspenseful. An example of the light/happy tone is the movie The Time Traveler's Wife . It does get serious at one point but it's very cheerful overall since it's a romance. The example for the intense and suspenseful mood is the film The Words. This is a better example of Man vs. Himself than anything.
The goal of this project is to explore the idea of inner struggle and acceptance. I have always been interested in the human mind and the complexities of emotions, actions, and thoughts that drive us to do what we do in life and to make the choices that we make. I also want to try to control the emotions of others. I want people to be shocked at plot twists, grip the edge of their seat in anticipation and suspense, and to feel relief when it is all said and done.
My target audience are people who also enjoy the complexities and inner workings/struggles of the human mind.
Mallory Childs discovers a journal that contains nothing but her life: past, present and future. In an attempt to uncover the truth, she uncovers a secret that not only forces her to question everything she has ever known, but also to battle with the idea of her very own existence. She is nothing but a reincarnation, a carbon copy of a woman who was cursed to live forever thousands of years ago. Once the woman dies, she is born again in another generation and is forced to live her life in the same way, with the same events happening over and over again. Though, each generation is allowed one change to their story and records their tale into the journal for the next reincarnation to find. Mallory tries to free herself from her curse but becomes engulfed in her inner struggle of her life being nothing more than just a repeat of events.
I've always enjoyed films that deal with Man vs. Himself more than Man vs. Man or Man vs. Nature. Though there are elements of Man vs. Society or Man vs. Man in these films, the main focus is the obstacle being him/herself. The mood I'm going for is not really dreary but light, happy, then intense and suspenseful. An example of the light/happy tone is the movie The Time Traveler's Wife . It does get serious at one point but it's very cheerful overall since it's a romance. The example for the intense and suspenseful mood is the film The Words. This is a better example of Man vs. Himself than anything.
The goal of this project is to explore the idea of inner struggle and acceptance. I have always been interested in the human mind and the complexities of emotions, actions, and thoughts that drive us to do what we do in life and to make the choices that we make. I also want to try to control the emotions of others. I want people to be shocked at plot twists, grip the edge of their seat in anticipation and suspense, and to feel relief when it is all said and done.
My target audience are people who also enjoy the complexities and inner workings/struggles of the human mind.
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